Tag Archives: celebrity

No Sheen on this Morbid Deathwatch

By Jason Menard,

So who’s it gonna be?

I mean, Britney was way out in the lead for a while there. Lindsay’s been putting in solid performances for a while, and even Christina has stepped up her game as of late. Would we be surprised if any of the cast of the Jersey Shore came off the bench to do it? Although, right now, our money’s on Charlie Sheen, right?

You know what I’m talking about. Who’s going to be next to kick that final field goal? Continue reading

Are We Losing Our Appetite for Celebrity Schadenfreude?

By Jason Menard

How much is too much? And when does our penchant for engaging in schadenfreude take a back seat to our base level of humanity? Will Britney Spears be that test case?

As we all know, Britney’s been on a one-way slope downwards. From the heights of a pop starlet career to her current Hare Krishna-inspired hair style and guest appearances at rehabilitation clinics, the meteoric descent of her career has been evident for all to see. In fact, we can’t even blame her much maligned ex-husband for this fall.

It’s all Britney, all day, and we’re watching. But our perspective, slowly, seems to be changing.

Normally society loves nothing more to build people up for a fall. And if this person is raised artificially – whether it’s artificial talents, artificial looks, artificial breasts – we seem to love nothing more than watching them plummet back down to reality. Yet this time there’s something different.

Dare I say it? We actually seem to feel sorry for Britney. We actually seem to care.

Well, some of us do. There are the hyper-cynical bloggers and commentators who get off on being insensitive. But that’s an immature reaction to a problem with maturity. We’re watching a little girl lost and that seems to have resonated with people who normally wouldn’t think twice about watching a starlet fall.

Take, for example, Craig Ferguson, the host of the Late, Late Show – better known to many as The Drew Carey Show’s Nigel Wick – put a moratorium on Britney Spears jokes. “ I’m starting to feel uncomfortable about making fun of these people. And for me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. Attacking the politicians and the Trumps and the blowhards, go after them. We shouldn’t be attacking the vulnerable people.”

Wow, a heart. And you know what, he’s right. There’s nothing wrong with celebrity bashing or comedy when it’s perpetrated against those who are on top of their game, but it’s something different when we all stand around like spectators watching someone who is so evidently crying out for help, and instead of lending a hand we heap further scorn upon them.

Maybe it’s an addiction, maybe it’s post-partum depression, maybe there are issues to which we’re not privy. But the main thing is that there’s something obviously wrong with this girl and to derive pleasure from it is no better than mocking someone for a mental disability, their skin colour, or their religion. All it does is send the person further and further into despair – and the way the end game plays out could be tragic.

Take, for example, Anna Nicole Smith? Anybody surprised she met an untimely fate at a young age? What about the skeletal remains of people like Nicole Richie or Kate Bosworth – do we need a Karen Carpenter redux to see the problem?

Ultimately, the responsibility lies with the people themselves foremost, then with their friends and family. Unfortunately, these celebrities often find themselves surrounded by sycophants and yes-men, looking only to leech of their star-power and suck them dry before moving on with their lives, leaving only a spent shell of the person in their wake.

But we, as a consuming public, need to take our share of the responsibility. The good works that some celebrities undertake are shrouded in ignorance because we care more about the latest bedroom scandal or display of nonsensical behaviour. We’re so focused on the negative that we completely disregard the positive – so is it any surprise that these attention-starved people are willing to threaten their lives in return for public notoriety?

Maybe we need to take a cue from the stars of yesteryear, or more appropriately, the fans of the past. Sexual orientation, bedroom antics, personal habits weren’t a matter of daily consumption and discussion. What mattered were the work and the talent. We appreciated what they could do on vinyl or on the screen and the rest was ancillary information. Shockingly, we cared more about our own lives and those around us than we did of these stars with whom we had no personal involvement.

Of course, those days are long gone. The proliferation of tabloid magazines, television shows, and even full-scale channels dedicated to feeding our ravenous hunger for celebrity scandal shows that the market for schadenfreude is good.

But how many crashes, how many failures, and how many deaths will it take until our taste for this wanes? Or, as evidenced by our new-found sympathy for Britney Spears, has that already started to happen. We can only hope because any joy we get from watching these people crash doesn’t only impact the stars, but reflects horribly on us.

2007© Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Fishing for the Force of Celebrity

By Jason Menard

We question why a fish, once he’s escaped certain death at the end of a hook, would so readily lust after that oddly hanging, totally-out-of-its-element, worm the next time it cross its path. But it does, just as we do whenever Madonna goes out on tour.

They say fish have painfully short memories, but what’s our excuse for biting down again on the same old tired bait.

Newspapers, television shows, and the Internet are rife with images of the largely Immaterial Girl symbolically crucifying herself on a mirrored cross. And, instead of ignoring the bait, the Catholic League just couldn’t resist and now finds itself dancing on the line that is Madonna’s publicity machine.

Really, do we care what Madonna does? Are we at all surprised with what she does on stage? Should we be? Honestly, it’s not as if this is Barry Manilow we’re talking about here. It’s not like Madonna doesn’t have a history of turning taboos into television time. Yet, like the spoiled child who gets attention by throwing a temper tantrum, Madonna is able to use outrageous behaviour to gain her attention when, perhaps, her music no longer warrants it.

Cone bras, bisexualism, dancing as a peep show stripper with an underage child, alleged carnal explorations of Dennis Rodman and Vanilla Ice, burning crosses in Pepsi ads, simulated masturbation on stage – really, did nobody see the precedent here? Are we really supposed to be shocked?

If she managed to come out with a movie that didn’t suck – then, that would warrant attention. But no, we’re hooked like fish on a two-pronged rod – one reeling us in, the other one hooked into our wallets – and Madonna manages to leverage her lifetime membership in the Cult of Celebrity.

What is it about us that values style over substance? Madonna’s imagery was always an interesting side project to the fact that her music was, in large part, entertaining and danceable. Before she was a trend-setter, now she jumps from trend to trend, canoodling with today’s starlets (hello Ms. Spears) in an attempt to have their star power rub off on her. She, like so many other entertainers before her, is living off her legacy and has long moved past the stage of titillating into the realm of creepy, reserving space on the discount rack next to Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct sequel.

It seems when superstars reach a certain status, their need to actually put out quality work lessens – for a time. While U2 is back on top of their game, there were quite a few albums there where it appeared they were just going through the motions. Yet fans would still try to justify the work, analyze their new directions, and come up with plausible explanations for why the new stuff sucked.

Here’s a news flash. Musicians can suck. Actors can plateau. Life moves on. Talent isn’t absolute. Keanu Reeves: good in Bill & Ted’s, bad in everything else. Yet, somehow he continues to get roles – including a new film with the similarly inexplicable Sandra Bullock — despite showing the acting range of the average piece of theatre popcorn. Al Pacino, once a celluloid force is now just cashing checks and shouting his way through scenes where he once gave consideration to acting. And what deal with the devil has kept Bon Jovi recording albums while similarly (un)talented acts like Helix and Nelson are pushing brooms in the local mini-mart?

Celebrity is an odd force. It’s inexplicable and defies talent. The magazine racks are filled with images of starlet racks. Their talent is secondary to their “talents.” Going by the gossip mags, our Hollywood celebrities spend most of their time in bikinis. But sex sells — which may explain Paris Hilton. Our modern-day Zsa Zsa Gabor, famous for being famous, Hilton represents everything that’s both wrong and right about fame.

It’s mercurial, it’s fortuitous, and it’s inexplicable. It can prop up the talentless, while crushing the dreams of those with real acting or singing chops. It’s a force of nature that we’re all moved by but have no control over. And it makes us suspend our otherwise common sensibilities and blinds us to reality.

So the next time Madonna does something predictably outrageous, feel free to be offended. After all, it’s just the force of celebrity moving you to take the bait, yet again.

2006© Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

What the Cult of Celebrity Has to Offer

By Jason Menard

When “a friend” comes out of the woodwork to make a startling revelation about a now-deceased celebrity it always takes me back to my early journalism days when I learned that you can’t libel a dead person.

So, in the spirit of the article appearing in England’s Sun newspaper, where “a friend” and alternative psychotherapist (the former qualifier definitely needs the quotes, the second is just begging for them – but I’ll resist) alleged that the late Princess Diana and the late John F. Kennedy Jr. had an affair, I’d like to make the following confessions.

I spent one memorable night in a New York hotel with Rita Hayworth, Marilyn Monroe, and Jayne Mansfield. Mr. Rogers and I did lines off the Trolley. And one night, on a Las Vegas bender, Elvis and I engaged in the love that dares not speak its name.

Finally, Britney Spears’ and I had an affair and it is I who is actually the father of her unborn child. No wait – she’s not dead, just her career is –I’ll retract that statement right away!

I offer these statements up because, as a society, we have more than just a passing fancy for this type of fare. Like a kid at a dessert buffet, we’re willing to gorge ourselves on this buffet of lies, rumours, and innuendo – temporarily sating our sweet tooth. But, as anyone on a diet knows, sugary fare only satisfies these cravings temporarily, and soon we’re ravenous for more!

And a fix is never more than a few minutes away. Scanning the racks of the grocery stores and pharmacies, we’re inundated with dozens of magazines blasting out the latest gossip about Lindsey Lohan, Jessica Simpson, and Michael Jackson! Tabloids ranging from the sycophantic (People) to the outrageous (Weekly World News) dominate the magazine aisle, while weightier fare is doomed to collecting dust in the back of the racks.

Of course, if reading celebrity gossip is not enough to sate your hunger, there is always the option of flicking through the channels. Shows like Entertainment TonightAccess Hollywood, and their copycat brethren proudly boast of exclusive reports, breaking news, and inside information on the latest celebrity foibles. But investigative journalism at its finest this is not! These tabloids ensure that they never cross the line and bite the hand that feeds them – the Hollywood publicity machine.

Forget the Food Network – the best chefs in the world are celebrities and their spin doctors. They know that we have this insatiable sweet tooth for gossip, and they’re working diligently to serve up the fare that we’re happy to greedily gobble up. They may feign consternation about the attention they receive, but the truth of the matter is that they’re fanning the flames, because in today’s market you have to burn brightly.

They’ve learned the game – which is appropriate, because they made up the rules.

Whereas once the media worked with Hollywood to keep private and professional lives separate, now the paradigm has shifted to the point where the product is secondary to the person.

Jessica Simpson, Lindsey Lohan, and the aforementioned Ms. Spears are known more for their personal lives (both real and fabricated) than they are for their supposed talents. The tabloids – and the tabloid-hungry public – are less interested in the next album or movie, and more interested in the next scandal. It is now enough to be famous just for being famous (Ms. Hilton, your 15 minutes are rapidly running out).

And we’re buying it up. We talk about these people like we’re intimates, “Did you hear about Brad and Angelina, poor Jen…” We profess to have insight on people’s motives, “Oh, that Tom – it’s all promotional. He’s got a new movie, you know – and that Scientology…”

Yet, in the end, we’re starving ourselves as a society even as we gorge ourselves at this trough of fame. And why? The answer may be because the heartier fare is too hard for us to digest.

We live in a big, scary world, the problems of which are hard for us to comprehend – much less feel like we can do anything about. We live in times where we feel like the world around us is beyond our control, so we turn to the things which we feel we can own.

The fact is we know nothing of these celebrities, other than what they choose to show us. For the most part, these people are blank canvases, willing to take on whatever role is called for. And, as a blank canvas, they enable us to create our own image of them. And we can take comfort in the fact that we know the truth of these people – that we have inside knowledge and insight into a world in which we don’t inhabit.

And once our canvases have too much paint on them, we toss them aside and look for the next up-and-coming empty vessel in which we can pour our opinions, thoughts, and ideas. The Cult of Celebrity promises comfort. It offers us a world which we can shape and mould to our own ideals. It allows us to stand in judgment over others and to feel a part of a world in which we are the primary audience.

The real world doesn’t offer us that luxury. We’re, generally, small cogs in a wheel that continues spinning, indifferent to our existence. The depth and scope of the world is such that we feel removed from its machinations.

The celebrity machine, however, needs us just as much as we need it – and that’s where we draw comfort. A world that we can control and comprehend is only a page away.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved