Tag Archives: youth

Lest We Forget?

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By Jason Menard

Let we forget. That plaintive admonition from our forefathers seems to be getting drowned out by the din of modern society and, unless things change soon, threatens to be silenced.

As we approach Remembrance Day, our collective attention is supposed to be turned towards those men and women who fought for our beliefs and ideals in the Great War, WWII, and the Korean War. Yet, for more and more people – especially the younger generations — those conflicts are rapidly distancing themselves from our present-day reality.

In my own case, the only direct links I have to Remembrance Day observances are my grandfathers – one of whom passed away in my youth, and the other of whom I never knew. My own children have no direct experience. Will Remembrance Day mean anything to them as they grow up?

My fear is that the answer will be no, unless we do something about it. We need more than a poppy on a lapel or on a coin – we need to embrace Remembrance Day as a country and pass our passion, appreciation, and knowledge on to future generations.

Although many of our veterans survived horrors beyond comprehension, tragically we are rapidly losing them to the one battle from which there is no victory. Fewer and fewer WWII veterans remain with us today, and in the not-to-distant future it’s not hard to see that those living links to our past will be broken. And with their passing, so goes the living history that’s at the root of Remembrance Day observances.

We face a number of problems, not the least of which is that we live in a disposable society. Modern-day conflicts are lamented, and just as quickly forgotten. Horrors like the Chechen school invasion are featured on CNN for 24-hours a day, and then just as quickly forgotten when the next story breaks. How can we, as a society, expect to remember wars that many of us have no direct ties to when we can’t even remember what happened last week?

Add to that the fact that war has been sanitized and edited for broadcast on the nightly news. The horrors of sending wave upon wave of soldiers from the trench to their death is incomprehensible to those growing up with remote-control wars! The majority of Canadians just don’t have the first-hand experience of what’s it’s like to have many of their friends and family go overseas never to return.

Is this all bad? Not when you consider that the price for this disconnect has been years of peace. It’s getting harder and harder to remember conflict because we’ve been blessed with years without it directly affecting our country. But, as the old adage states, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.

We need to remember the horrors of war, instead of treating it as entertainment. Movies and video games depicting ‘realistic’ warfare are proliferating, but where are the real stories of tragedy? Where is the compassion for the families that were irrevocably altered by armed conflicts? Where is the commitment to honouring the brave men and women that gave so much of their lives for us?

A couple of years back I was in Montreal for Remembrance Day. I left my office and walked the two blocks to the cenotaph for the 11:00 ceremony. There I was joined by a handful of veterans, a smattering of others, and nobody else my age. With easily over 100,000 people within walking distance, this was the best we could do.

In fact, how many of people in their 30s and below even know where the local cenotaph is? We grew up wearing our poppies, going to school assemblies to hear Taps, and making wreaths out of tissue paper. And what has that left us with?

Recent generations have gone through the motions without understanding the movement. We must change that pattern before Remembrance Day becomes simply another empty gesture that will eventually fade into the mists of time.

Where do we start? Ideally, a national holiday on Remembrance Day would be welcome. A day wherein families can participate in memorials, visit monuments, or lay a wreath at a cenotaph. But we all know that even if it was a holiday, too many would treat it with no significance – after all, how many celebrate Victoria Day compared to those that celebrate ‘The 2-4’?

We need to do a better job as parents to educate our children about our past. We need our schools to take an active role in focusing curriculum on what Remembrance Day truly is. Instead of wasting time with empty symbols, we need to learn from those precious few veterans we have left. We need to record their stories — and those of their families – so that future generations can reflect upon their sacrifices.

Most of all, we need to make Remembrance Day matter again. Our veterans’ courage, sacrifice, and passion for our country has to be worth more than a quarter with a poppy on it.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Raising Our Kids is Not a Game

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By Jason Menard

While some parents are hailing the decision of the Retail Council of Canada to voluntarily restrict the access of certain video games to children, I have to wonder if this is truly a step forward in protecting our youth – or whether it’s just another case of parents abdicating their responsibility to someone else.

Once again, instead of taking the active role in child-rearing, we’re looking to external bodies to regulate our environment. To take the choice out of our hands, and to protect us from ourselves. The problem is, it won’t work. By making these games harder to get, all we have done is made them more appealing to kids.

My generation was one that grew up with video games. Whereas it’s unthinkable that many of my parents’ peers would be caught with a controller in their hands (my mother, addicted to Pac Man as she is, is a notable exception), I’m hard-pressed to find anyone in my early-30s circle of friends that don’t own at least one video game system. They are as ubiquitous as DVD players and TVs.

And, as my generation raises their children, we are exposing them to video games. The key for us is to do so responsibly and to do that we need to be active parents. No ratings or restrictions are going to change that.

As parents, my wife and I have chosen to restrict the types of games that our 10-year-old son is allowed to play. The reality is that there are plenty of games with content that some people would find unsavoury. We’ve rented games filled with strong language, violence, sexual themes, gore, and any number of illegal activities. The key thing is that we don’t play them when he’s around. Nor do we allow him to play them – and we explain to him why. There are plenty of video games out in this world and there are more than enough for him to enjoy without subjecting him to adult-themed games.

But we’ve decided to set these rules. In the same way that we guide what movies he watches, what TV shows he’s exposed to, and what access to the Internet he has, so to do we monitor the video games. In fact, we generally try any game he gets before he does, to be sure we’re comfortable with the images and activities he’s going to presented with.

It’s called active parenting – and no rating system can give that to you.

In fact, ratings are only good as guides, not as enforcements. There are two sides to this coin. First off, ask most teenagers which movie they’d prefer to see – one with a PG rating or one with a Restricted rating – and they’ll choose the latter, greatly because of the stigma attached to it. The sense of mystery and the idea of the forbidden are far more appealing than the “parentally accepted” former choice.

Secondly, ratings are not absolutes. Whether they’re industry-defined or independently assigned, they only serve to provide a general guideline of the content. There are R-rated films that I have no problem allowing my son to watch, and that have more value than many of the so-called age-appropriate films. But we don’t allow him to watch these in isolation. If a broadcast has strong themes present, it’s our responsibility as parents to talk about them, not ignore them as if they don’t exist.

Many parents, including ourselves, have been guilty at times of using TV as a babysitter. And now, as my generation continues to have children, the video game system is taking the same function in many cases. But, just as you wouldn’t hire a baby-sitter to watch your children without performing a thorough screening first, nor should you fire up a PS2 or Xbox without some prior knowledge of what’s going to happen.

I’m not so naïve as to think that my son is being completely sheltered from these images. In fact, I know acquaintances that allow their pre-teens free access to games that I would consider challenging for most adults, but that’s their choice and their kids. My wife and I can only control our environment and hope that the lessons we’re teaching, the messages we’re imparting, and the choices we’re making are enabling our son to feel comfortable in the world we live in.

Stricter enforcement on sales and ratings systems won’t do anything to diminish the appeal of violent and suggestive video games. It’s our job as parents to be actively aware of what our kids are exposed to. Raising our kids is not a game – so let’s start taking it seriously and stop looking for others to regulate what we do.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

My Daughter’s Pony Tail Has Me Tied Up in Knots

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By Jason Menard

I’ve interviewed Heads of State, I’ve survived Cuban customs, and I have weathered the stresses of weddings, moving, school, and work. I considered myself capable of succeeding at pretty much anything to which I put my mind – that is, until recently.

I have been defeated. And by my own flesh and blood. My insurmountable task? My two-and-a-half year old daughter’s hair.

That’s right, I’ve pieced together IKEA furniture despite the lack of a Rosetta Stone for their hieroglyphic-like instructions (and the inevitable missing or extra pieces that seem to have no home), but a simple pony tail falls outside the range of my capabilities.

It’s not for lack of trying. My wife has spent many moments stifling her laughter and offering (somewhat condescending) support for my efforts. My daughter has shown patience beyond her years in sitting there as I fumble along, my fingers suddenly moving as dexterously as a cow’s hoof.

This is just not a skill set that I’ve ever had to develop. I’ve always had short hair, and even my pathetic attempt to grow it out during my teen years only left me with an unruly mop that still wasn’t long enough to pull back. My almost 10-year-old son also has short hair, so that’s been a blessing in disguise to this point.

My daughter was even gracious enough to take longer than expected to grow her hair in, so I was granted a reprieve. But it finally happened, her hair has grown, and grown, and grown. In my dreams, my daughter’s beautiful hair turns into a Medusa-esque collection of snakes, hissing and mocking my inability to manipulate a ‘clippy.’ But, as always, my wife was there to bail me out.

Until recently. Off on a girls’ weekend away, she left me alone with my daughter. Before departing she generously put my daughter’s hair up – but that could only last so long. Eventually, she’d need to bathe, sleep, or just be a normal two-year-old and pull it out. And although I debated the merits of the Moe Howard look on girls, I knew my wife would kill me if my daughter went outdoors looking like she was on her way to an audition for the Mini-Pop Ramones.

So I bit the bullet. After her bath, after I dried her hair, I took a deep breath – and foisted her off on one of the neighbour’s daughters.

It’s amazing what the power of suggestion can do on a toddler. A simple, “don’t you like when [insert the older child of your choice’s name here] does your hair? You should go ask her to do it again!” No, it’s probably not the best example of parenting in the world, but I’d rather my daughter look like a little girl than like she should be ferrying a small keg of brandy around her neck in the Alps. I’m already barely getting by on colour co-ordination and matching outfits, so give me a mulligan on the hair!

Many of us go through various classes as we prepare for the birth of our children – but nowhere is there one on tying pony tails! And forget pig tails – I have enough problems with one, two might cause an aneurysm. Knowing what I know now, I’d pay any amount of money to attend that class.

And learning from my wife has proven fruitless. I’ve determined that it’s like when I watch those Italian game shows without the benefit of sub-titles – I get the gist of it, but the fine details are lost.

So what I’m left with is to implore all of you not for pity, but for understanding. Understanding not just for me, but for all those fathers out there. When you see us walking down the street, holding the hand of our shaggy offspring who’s braving the outdoors with a pony tail sticking out the side of her head or a dozen clips scattered haphazardly around her head, don’t point and laugh.

Our daughters have done nothing wrong but to put their blind trust in us – and our lumbering fingers.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

The $415,000 Question

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By Jason Menard

Another day, another City Hall fiasco. Unapproved renovation costs, sexual harassment issues, closed-door meetings, denials, double-talk, sniping – it seems one can’t wake up anymore and pick up a paper without reflexively cringing before seeing what’s next.

So what do we, as Londoners, do about it? That’s the $415,000 question, now isn’t it? For many years now Londoners have been willing to gripe about our elected officials, but when it comes down to that decisive moment, the status quo reigns supreme.

Name recognition seems to be the order of the day for London voters – last election saw all incumbents who ran re-elected. Voter apathy tops the list. In fact, just over 30% of eligible voters cast ballots last election. And who are among the worst offenders? London’s youth.

Whether it’s university students returning home from their studies, or high school grads preparing to take the next step in their lives, one of the fundamental responsibilities we have as a society – and as adults — is participation in the democratic process.

Of course, no one is actively going to get you to the polls. I’m not so far removed from that age to have forgotten how hollow “Get out to vote” messages can sound. In fact, those pseudo-hip messages specifically targeted to the youth demographic are either way off base or way too condescending.

So why should you go out and cast a vote on November 10? The pretentious answer is, “Because it’s your civic duty to do so.” But the real reason is that you can make a difference and help to shape this city the way you want it!

Stop and think about the power you – and when I say you, I mean youth as a block – hold for the upcoming election. The numbers can be in your favour! Look at the percentages we’re talking about here – only about one-third of eligible voters actually exercised their right to vote. Now, if the youth of this city – even conservatively saying 5,000 to 10,000 people — actually got involved in this process and voted for a candidate who met their needs that could have a significant impact on the final result.

Now I can hear the cry, “There’s nobody out there who cares what we think.” You know what? You’re probably right. And you know why? You don’t give them a reason to care.

As much as we’d like to live in a world where politicians have all of our best interests in mind, the fact of the matter it’s not that the squeaky wheel gets the grease –all the whining in the world won’t get you anywhere. It’s the squeaky wheel that actually has some weight behind it that will see results. They’re called interest groups because they actually can attract the interest of our city’s movers and shakers.

I’ve lived in this city for a number of years and all I’ve ever heard from this city’s youth is how backwards the city is, how there’s nothing for the youth, and a litany of things that are wrong with the city. I’ve yet to see anyone do anything about it.

Where’s the motivation for someone running for office to develop a position, or even address your needs? Why should they waste their breath on a group that’s not even going to get out and cast a ballot. However, I guarantee that if they knew that your vote could make a difference between election and obscurity, I’m sure they’d be more receptive to your concerns.

Sure it’s only May and it would seem too early to start thinking about elections, but that’s precisely the problem! Most people don’t think about elections, read what they see in the paper, then go cast a ballot – and hence the same-old, same-old council we keep getting.

Think of it as your summer project before you go back to school. We live in the electronic age, so send the candidates an email. Go see them when they’re stumping for votes. Call their offices. No matter what you do, get your voice heard and ask the questions that concern you! If you don’t get an answer, ask again. Find the candidate who addresses your concerns in a way you’re satisfied with. And don’t just stick with the “money” candidates – talk to the lesser lights, see what their ideas are.

This way, when Nov. 10 rolls around, you’ll know who – and what – you’re voting for. Maybe it will be the same-old candidate, or perhaps someone new will earn your vote. At least you’ll be making an informed decision.

And, hopefully, as voting day approaches the candidates themselves will know who they’re dealing with when it comes to plotting London’s future!

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Following Our Children’s Lead

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By Jason Menard

It’s about time. Now it’s about time for the rest of society to follow the lead of our children.

The Thames Valley District School Board did the right thing last night, expanding its safe-school policy to include same-sex relationships. However, unless some parents follow the school board’s lead, it won’t mean a wet slap for our society as a whole.

There are parents and groups out there that believe this amendment will lead to schools promoting the gay lifestyle. Like homosexuality is an intellectual virus that once learned will lead to a Queer Eye for the Straight Kid makeover, causing mass Pride parades down the halls of our city’s elementary schools, and a run on Cher memorabilia for the under-12 set!

I’m sorry, but being gay doesn’t work that way. You either you are or you aren’t. I’ve been around homosexuals the better (and I mean that in every sense of the word) part of my life, and yet I remain staunchly heterosexual. You would think that this powerful homo-hypnosis people seem to fear would have, at some point, affected me, but it hasn’t.

Including the understanding of gay lifestyles in our young children’s lives can only broaden and enrich their lives. In the same way that children were once – and at times are still – ostracized due to their ethnic background or religious beliefs, an attitude of intolerance and fear exists in our schools that make it difficult for homosexual children to feel comfortable with themselves.

I thank my parents for raising me in an extremely tolerant household. They taught me to respect and appreciate people for who they are – not who they’re with or what they look like. But as soon as I stepped out of the door, I entered a world where such compassion for others – at least as it relates to homosexuals – rarely existed.

Whether it was in the locker room with my hockey team or on the playground with other school kids the words ‘fag’ and ‘homo’ were tossed around as common insults. Up through high school, people that would never consider using a racial epithet tossed around insults based on sexual orientation without a second thought.

And then we wonder why it’s so hard for gay kids to come out? As a youth, I considered myself tolerant and understanding, but to a homosexual kid did my words – in this case – speak louder than my actions?

I went to a high school with roughly 900 other kids – and none was openly gay. While I may not believe that one in 10 people are gay, I find it hard to believe that all 900 of us were straight. Our culture was just not one where coming out was a welcome option. And I know we weren’t the only school like that.

I had hoped things had changed, but earlier this year, my son – who’s been exposed to gay friends and family all his life – came home and told me that some of his schoolmates were making fun of gay people and saying that they’re bad. The culture of intolerance still exists.

We, as a society, need to view sexuality in the same light as we do race. The only intolerance should be an intolerance of discrimination. We live in a secular society, so religious beliefs should hold no sway over our societal responsibilities. Our Charter of Rights and Freedoms applies to all people, straight or gay.

And this decision isn’t about undermining parental rights. I’ve got two kids and they didn’t come with instructions for me to instill intolerance and hate. My parental obligations include preaching love, understanding, and acceptance of our differences.

Hopefully, considering the world we live in now, the Thames Valley District School Board’s decision will help make my obligations a little easier. But that can only happen if we all support its ideals. Kids truly do learn the most from their parents and if we preach intolerance, what do you think are kids are going to believe?

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved