Tag Archives: family

Passing a Marker on the Road of Life

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By Jason Menard

The candles have been blown out, the cards have been opened, the well-wishes received, and now I’ve entered birthday purgatory. Today (June 13) I turned the non-descript age of 32 – and I’m left wondering how I should feel and how I should celebrate.

Earlier in our lives, each birthday is an event. And, for some, that sense of celebration continues on year after year, throughout their lives. For others, the passing of each birthday is a depressing reminder of the loss of youth, or the fear of time slipping through our grasp.

Then there are people like me who don’t fit into either camp. While not wallowing in a pit of depression over the addition of another candle to our cake, we’re not much for celebrating our birthdays either. And this feeling of ennui is amplified by the fact that I’m now in this birthday hinterland.

Taking stock of my life to this point, I’m very happy with where I am. I have a wonderful wife and two amazing kids that inspire me and make me laugh each and every day. I have my family and a few close friends, a good job, a roof over my head, and food on the table. Life is good.

Better yet, this past year has seen the waistline recede, the hairline hold its ground, and only a few more grey hairs joining the fray. As the chairman sang, “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.” All of which could explain why I’m looking at this birthday with all the interest of a road sign on the highway. Interesting as a notification of where we’re heading, these birthdays certainly aren’t worth stopping to admire.

You see, the people who came up with the concept of wedding anniversaries got it right. They knew that, other than the big commemorative years, the majority of those middling years need something to give them a kick in the pants. So, instead of relying on the public to come up with ideas, they decided to take the thought process out of the equation and spoon-feed us celebratory themes. Wood, paper, gold, silver – it’s all laid out for us in easy-to-follow steps.

But what about birthdays? For my kids, each and every passing year is an exciting event. They’re ferociously striving to shed their youth, just as my wife and I work just as hard to hold on to its diminishing vestiges. Then there are the biggies – 13, 16, 18, 19, 21, 25, 30… There’s much to look forward to, and the next big celebration is no more than a few years away.

Then we hit our 30s and we’re stuck in the middle between adulthood and youth. I’m not old enough to be considered a sage, elder statesman, but I’m apparently old enough to see my youth the subject of countless nostalgia specials. I’m not young enough to get away with the follies of youth anymore, but I’m still young enough to feel youthful most of the time – which is a good thing. Best of all, I’m still on the right side of the grass, so I’ve got nothing to complain about.

So where’s my guide? Where’s my Hallmark-created step-by-step guide to aging? How do I best commemorate reaching an age where one day I’ll feel older than my years, and the next I’ll question who decided that I was mature enough to handle a family? Or will the uncertainty of these non-descript birthday years help the transition from youth to maturity?

With that in mind, I tip my hat to the passing of my 32 nd birthday, content in knowing that I’m still racing down the road of life, hoping to get to where I want to go. And as I pass that highway marker saying “40 – 8 years” I know that I don’t have to stop and take stock of the road behind me just yet. I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m on my way. Besides, where would the fun be if all my goals were already reached? There’s still the open road ahead, with all its twists and turns to both endure and enjoy – and there are thousands of stops that I’ll be making along the way in the future.

But for today, I will pause to appreciate the scenery around me and who my driving companions are. It’s not the final destination that matters, it’s appreciating the route we take to get there.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Caught in the Headlights of Life

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By Jason Menard

Sometimes the roads less traveled get you where you didn’t even realize you wanted to go.

In taking a different route to the office today, I had the unique experience of driving along side one of nature’s creatures – an obviously lost and frightened deer running from a rural environment towards a residential subdivision.

I slowed down and paced the deer for two reasons. One was to ensure that the deer didn’t dash out into the street in front of me — as much as I love venison, I didn’t want to have to scrape Bambi out of my grill. But mostly I was entranced by this graceful animal bounding through the grassy ravine frantically searching for a way out.

Alas, the experience was all too short, as I lost the creature as it ran through a townhome complex. But in those few fleeting minutes I was struck with the revelation that, in reality, we’re no different than that scared deer bounding through life at breakneck speed, just trying to avoid getting hurt and not entirely sure of where we’re going. We live in fear of life – the uncertainty of tomorrow paralyzing our todays.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I received a call from an old friend and we got to discussing where life has taken us. We got to discussing his current job and he revealed that it wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be, and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to stay in his chosen industry. After years of schooling and rounding the 30s, he now stood at a crossroads, looking back on how he got to where he was and wondering if he made the right turn. And we all come to a point in our lives where we do that.

If 20-year-old Jay would have predicted where he’d be almost 12 years into his future, I don’t think he’d predict a life in corporate communications or freelance column writing. However, it’s where I find myself and it’s where I currently find contentment. But those passionate dreams that we shared of falling in love your job and living the high life slowly subside to a realm of contentment and appreciating what gifts life has brought to us.

Originally I dreamed of working at a newspaper, reporting on the day’s news and shuttling from story to story. But as I aged and had a family, my priorities were not on the thrill of the chase but rather the desire to enjoy every moment I have with my family. I still have friends who work the graveyard shift at publications, or travel the world covering various events, but that’s not where I want to be. Watching my son and daughter grow is more fulfilling than any lead story I ever could write.

But there’s a danger to that as well. Where one person can find contentment in a career that they didn’t even realize existed, others get caught in jobs for the security of the paycheque. I wouldn’t be working where I am if I didn’t love the work that I do – however, I know a few people who, because of family obligations, find themselves in jobs that are not personally rewarding or fulfilling. So the questions becomes how do we chase our dreams, while respecting the needs of those around us?

As we grow up, the focus is always on personal gratification. We are prompted to chase our desires and find work that fulfills us – on an individual level. Growing up in the Reagan-influenced 80s, everything was about bigger, better, and more – more success, more money, and more power. Our measures of achievement moved in direct proportion to the bottom line.

What no one ever reminded us about was that animals travel in packs. If I may anthropomorphize a bit here, that deer seemed to be panicked and focused on getting back to familiar surroundings – despite not knowing how to get there. Its ultimate contentment would come from being with its own herd. Yet, the human animal is trained not to think in a pack mentality, but rather satisfy our individuality.

We have derogatory terms for people that choose to modify their dreams to meet their current reality – we say that they’ve sold out, are working for The Man, or shilling for the corporations. But maybe we need to put value on the contentment that comes from family. It is a lesson learned later in life that true happiness only comes from within – and now I know that I derive more satisfaction from my wife, kids, family, and friends than I ever could find at any job.

The key is to never stop dreaming. But just as we change and mature as we get older, so too should our dreams. The things I was certain of in my youth are now clouded by the filter of perspective, and the things that were out of my youthful field of vision are now crystal clear. So those selfish dreams of my youth just don’t seem so important now.

As we age, the pressures of life bear down on us like a truck barreling down the highway. But we need to choose whether we are entranced by the shiny headlights, or are we able to use our wisdom to find a new – and more fulfilling – path.

Looking back at my 20-year-old dreams, I can honestly say that I haven’t fulfilled each and every one of them – but I’m a better man for it.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Modern Sports Just Not Very Sporting

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By Jason Menard

I’d like to show you a vision of the future, if you don’t mind. Today’s sporting landscape is so out of whack, I can’t imagine how we’re going to explain it to our kids and grandchildren. I’m guessing that it will go a little like this.

“Grandpa Jay, what was the juiced ball era in baseball about?”

“Well, that was a time in the late ‘90s and early 2000s when people had suggested that Major League Baseball had fiddled with the actual balls, making them easier to hit out of the park. It turns out that it wasn’t just the balls that were juiced, but, allegedly, it was the players as well!”

“What do you mean by players being juiced?”

“You see, there are these things called steroids, which help people work out harder, get bigger, and, once again for all you lawyers listening out there, some players allegedly took them and started whacking the baseball out of the park on a more and more regular basis.”

“Well, that sounds a lot like cheating.”

“You may say that. Ironically, little one, the side effects of these steroids, which may have been responsible for the juiced ball era, probably were responsible for the Shrunken Ball era that followed after – but that’s a different story.”

“Wow. Was it just baseball players that used steroids?”

“No, it wasn’t. Certain football players allegedly used performance-enhancing drugs. And then there were the Olympic athletes that routinely got caught.”

“Oh, the Olympics, didn’t we have one of those in Vancouver?”

“Yes, we were proud to host the 2010 Winter Olympics. But, unfortunately, they didn’t live up to our expectations?”

“But I thought everybody loved Vancouver.”

“Without question, little one, and they put on a great show. But it kind of felt like having a birthday party and all your friends going home with your gifts.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You see, the Olympics are all about sports that the majority of Canadians only care about every four years. And, as we built up to the event, there was much hand-wringing and government discussion about providing more funding for our athletes so that they could compete better. Unfortunately, as you know with the government, all it came out to was a lot of talk, and these athletes – who don’t get any support from the public during the other three non-Olympic years, just couldn’t compete with better-funded, better-supported athletes from other countries.”

“So we didn’t win any gold medals?”

“Why, we didn’t win any medals. Although the International Olympic Committee did present President Gretzky with a nice Participant ribbon – kind of like the ones they give away at school.”

“Speaking of President Gretzky, how come we didn’t win Olympic gold in hockey? Weren’t we good at that?”

“Well sure we were. But with the NHL lockout going on to its seventh year, the players and owners decided that they were just warming up and didn’t want to break their momentum by actually hitting the ice.”

“Is that because they don’t want a salary cap? Baseball doesn’t have a salary cap and it’s doing well, isn’t it?”

“Sure. It is now. Especially since the other 28 all merged into one, barnstorming, mega team so that their salaries could match the Yankees and Red Sox’s payrolls!”

“You know, sports in your day just didn’t seem to be much fun, did they Grandpa. I think I’ll go read now.”

“That’s probably for the best…”

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved