Category Archives: Sports (MC Archive)

Sports columns that appeared on Jason Menard’s previous Web site, Menard Communications.

This Olympic Movement Hits Me in the Bowels

3 Replies

By Jason Menard

In just a few short days the eyes of the world – and the cameras of the CBC – will be focussed on birthplace of Western civilization, Athens, Greece. It’s an Olympic year and, judging by the paraphernalia and marketing tie-ins on display wherever you look, I’ll be the only one on the outside, not caring to look in.

Now, I’m as big of a sports fan as anyone, but I just can’t get into the Olympics. I’ve tried. Really, I have. And while I support anything that makes us feel proud as Canadians, for me this whole Olympic movement hits me more in the bowel than in the heart.

If there’s a gold medal in hypocrisy, I’m afraid we’d be solid contenders! Every two years (now that the summer and winter games fall on a rotating basis — you know — to maximize sponsor dollars) Canadians work themselves up into an orgiastic frenzy over the Olympics!

Then, almost before the torch is doused, all is forgotten. Heroes are made in a fraction of a second, but are cast aside before the final note is played on the closing ceremonies. We watch anxiously as an athlete – of whom we’ve never heard before (except for those TSN/CBC preview shows…) competes in an event we don’t really care about. We take vicarious pleasure in their victory, and heap scorn on those that don’t measure up to our expectations.

But we don’t have the right? Where are we during the intervening years? The same people who sit in judgement after another disappointing Olympic result, decrying the lack of federal funding for our elite athletes, are also the same ones who never think of ponying up their own money to go to a local fencing club or luge event! For the most part, the only people that attend amateur athletics are family and friends – actual spectators are few and far between.

And while most people wouldn’t review a book without reading it first, there seems to be no problem in shooting off our mouths on athletes and sports we know next to nothing about.

What these athletes need is our support more than once every four years! They give their bodies, minds, and dedication to a cause, often with little to no support, no funding, and no general interest. While we produce reams of newsprint detailing the goings-on of millionaire professionals, these true athletes, who are the purest representation of sport out there, get next to no notice – except when the Olympics roll around.

To take vicarious pride in the successes of athletes that we’ve ignored for so long insults the effort, pain, and hardship they’ve endured to become elite. It’s like the guy at work or school that takes equal credit for a project you’ve completed despite doing next to no work! You hate that guy in everyday life, but you have no compunctions about being that guy when the Olympics roll around.

Now, it’s too late to jump on the ol’ bandwagon this year. Anyway, doing so would just seem so transparent. So go ahead and watch the Olympics, enjoy the thrill of competition, cheer the Maple Leaf to your hearts’ content. Cheer on our fencers, our synchronised swimmers, and our handball competitors! And feel free to revel in the fact that, win or lose, they will have represented our country at the highest level of competition.

But don’t let that be the end of your journey. The moment that athlete breaks the tape at the finish line should be the moment you start your involvement! That trampoline competition really got you jumping? Find out when the next local event takes place – and attend! Your admission dollars, for the most part, will help fund those athletes and help them get to the next level.

People that wouldn’t think twice about taking out a second mortgage for Leafs’ tickets rarely drop any coin to get into gymnastics meet – but these athletes need your support! Really, it’s the least you can do to pay for you riding their coat tails to the podium this summer.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

A Canadiens’ Fan in a Maple Leaf World

Leave a reply

By Jason Menard

It’s at this time of year that I can really relate to Kermit T. Frog when he woefully sang, “It’s not easy being green…”

You see, I bleed the blue, blanc, et rouge of the Montreal Canadiens in a Toronto Maple Leafs world. You may not have noticed us, as we tend to gather in small groups, in living rooms with the blinds drawn, to commiserate over the fact that fate has dealt us a geographic blow.

But once in a while you will catch the more intrepid members of our community at your local pub, gathered around what invariably ends up being the smallest TV in the joint, tuned to SRC, watching our beloved Habs take flight. While around us – the flickering glow of the numerous big screens tuned to Hockey Night in Toronto – er, I mean, Canada, illuminate the faces of Maple Leaf fans who sit, or stand, in reverence of the boys in Blue and White.

But look closer at those Canadiens fans and you’ll notice the slight differences between them and their Maple Leaf brethren. They display an air of serenity and poise, but are very careful not to show it.

Some may say that it comes from the hypnotic effect caused by watching Jacques Demers’ inhuman number of chins wiggling during intermission. And while it’s true that we don’t have the pomp and bluster of Don Cherry to wake us from our reverie, the disposition of a Montreal Canadiens fan comes from one thing, and one thing only – success.

Each year Toronto Maple Leafs fans in the area whip them up into a frenzy of anticipation believing that this, finally, will be the year! With every goal for and goal against their mood swings faster than Benny Goodman on amphetamines. And each year they plunge from the euphoric highs of a series win to the inevitable despair that comes with their ouster from the Stanley Cup playoffs.

And those Montreal Canadiens fans? We try to suffer our defeats with dignity. But woe is the Habs fan whose allegiances are exposed to this Maple Leaf-dominated world. Like vultures circling a dying carcass, Leaf fans have in recent years feasted on the Canadiens misfortune.

What is that old saying? Oh, yeah, misery loves company. Taking their cues from their spiritual leader, Grapes, Leaf fans have delighted in bombarding their Canadiens-loving cohorts with bravado. Feeling that ridicule combined with volume can fill the void caused by their own lack of post-season glory.

“Theodore couldn’t carry Belfour’s jock strap! Our Swedish captain is totally better than your Finnish captain! Domi would have kicked Ribeiro’s butt if he tried that diving trick on the Leafs!”

And yet that wry smile never leaves the lips of the Canadiens’ fan. Like an internal mantra, the Habs fan takes solace with thoughts of the great Russ Courtnall for John Kordic trade, the Harold Ballard years, the Maple Laffs moniker…

But most of all, the Habs fan finds comfort in the Cups. We draw our strength from generations of success. While Leafs fans hold fast to the thought that “if the refs only called a penalty on Wayne Gretzky…” and what might have been, Canadiens fans can take comfort in countless memories of sipping from Lord Stanley’s mug.

Sure the recent years have been lean, which is what makes this year’s playoffs all the more exciting. So go ahead and fly your flags from your car, flood the street in celebration of a first-round win, shout from the top of your lungs that this is THE year! We Habs fans will smile in bemusement at your desperate need for success and validation.

So as we enter the second round, and as the Maple Leaf bandwagon groans under the weight of ever-more people jumping on as it lumbers along to another early tee time, we Canadiens fans will simply enjoy watching you take that ride. Early-round success? We’ve been there and done that. Wake us when the parade’s being planned.

And if all else fails, we can always fall back on the line: “At least we’ve won our Cups on colour TV…”

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

A Sour Cherry?

1 Reply

By Jason Menard

Does Don Cherry really have to be our standard-bearer for free speech in this country? And what does it say about us as a country when we fail to be outraged at borderline-racist comments, but a seven-second delay sends us into a tizzy?

As a result of his latest verbal assault against Europeans and French-Canadians, Cherry’s Coaches Corner segment is now subject to a seven-second delay, wherein some unfortunate soul has his or her finger on the trigger, waiting for the volatile Cherry to say something inappropriate. I’d hate to be the one doing that job.

So now Cherry, instead of being exposed as the ignorant buffoon that he is, now is at the centre of a cause célébre – pardon my French – and what he says is now obscured by the discussion of his right to say it.

Let’s put things into perspective here. Cherry has become nothing more than a shameful self-parody. Instead of using his high-profile, national forum to effect meaningful change to a game we all know and love, he has to continually one-up himself on a weekly basis. He absolutely has to be outrageous and controversial, but not for the sake of making a point, but rather to cover up his total lack of substance.

The plain fact of the matter is that very few Canadians take Cherry seriously. Some will watch and laugh at his bombastic antics, so may agree with certain aspects of his weekly diatribes, but few would consider him an authoritative voice on the game.

Much like Zsa Zsa Gabor and Elizabeth Taylor, he’s no longer famous for his contributions to society, but rather he’s famous for being famous. Honestly, how many people – especially the newer viewers to Hockey Night in Canada – actually recall his coaching career when compiling a list of his attributes? Outrageous jackets, yes. Starched collars, sure. Dog named Blue, OK. A stint behind the benches of the Bruins and Rockies? Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

The scary thing is that the majority of Canadians have become desensitized to his xenophobia. We laugh it off and say, “Oh, that’s just Don being Don.” And that’s easy to say when you’re on the English-Canadian side of the fence. But his shtick doesn’t carry the same weight elsewhere. Having lived in Quebec for a number of years, I have seen first-hand that Cherry’s anti-French and anti-European diatribes elicit anything from minor annoyance to – and this is worse – a confirmation that these are obviously the opinions of a majority of English Canadians because they don’t bat an eye when he says these things.

Just think of the emotions that get stirred up when someone from the U.S. slights our beloved nation. We become outraged and lament the opinions of these ignorant Americans – but by our support of Cherry, are we any worse?

But despite all of this, I don’t believe Cherry should be censored. In fact, I do believe we need people like this in our world so that we can point at them and mock them mercilessly. We can sift the sewage out of their bombast, hold it up for examination, and expose it for the ignorant drivel that it is. It’s more dangerous to allow these sentiments to fester in private, where they can grow to a disproportionate size. This is the beauty of free speech – we can all share our ideas and have them subjected to public scrutiny and analysis to highlight both the flaws and strengths of our ideas.

However, I don’t think our nation’s publicly funded broadcast network should necessarily be providing a five-minute stage dedicated to an individual who goes out of his way to alienate an important segment of our Canadian cultural mosaic. But, unlike Cherry, I refuse to pass judgement on the rights of others to watch what they choose. And I don’t think mass censorship is ever the right solution.

In any case, I have the greatest time-delay device at my disposal – my remote control. I watch hockey for the love of the game, not to see the pathetic attempt of an increasingly irrelevant talking head struggle to stay in the public consciousness.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

More Dynasty Talk than at a Carrington Reunion

Leave a reply

By Jason Menard

The Super Bowl is over, the New England Patriots are victorious, and with the cacophony of voices are bandying the word dynasty about in a way not seen since John Forsythe, Linda Evans, and Joan Collins shared the small screen.

Somewhere, the ghosts of the truly great teams are sitting back and laughing at us. What does it say about a culture when winning two out of three is considered dominant?

Put it this way, the Ming Dynasty didn’t just last for a few years, with a few changes of political leadership and social direction thrown in for good measure. A dynasty, by its very nature, combines ultimate dominance with longevity.

To return this to a sports level, the Montreal Canadiens of the 50s and 70s, with multiple Stanley Cup runs, were a dynasty. The New York Yankees of the 30s and 50s, they were dynasties too! The Patriots? Didn’t they miss the playoffs last year? Hardly the stuff of legends. Worst of all, we now come armed with ready-made excuses to qualify our hyperbolic statements. How many times have you heard the term “modern-day dynasty” lately?

Why do we feel compelled to anoint moderately successful teams with the moniker dynasty? Perhaps it’s a lack of self-confidence. Our incessant need for cultural self-validation has permeated almost every aspect of our lives and threatens to swallow us whole.

We live in a time where we feel the need to justify the actions of the here and now, all the while stumbling over each other in the desperate attempt to find the “next” big thing. It’s like a sixth-grader proclaiming that Justin Timberlake is the greatest artist ever, and that John Lennon guy is just so yesterday. It’s something we’ve all done, but fortunately we all grow up and gain perspective.

Why is it that we can’t appreciate the accomplishments of the past for what they are? Instead of trying to overwhelm historical dominance with over-hyped mediocrity, why can’t we instead raise the bar and hold ourselves to a higher ideal?

Turn on the TV and what do you get? Multiple versions of the same concept, from channel to channel. And don’t get so smug thinking that this is a dismissal of reality shows. In fact, reality shows are at least in touch with today’s cultural environment and are self-aware enough to know their place.

No sooner had the last American Idol wrapped did advertisements for the next round begin to crop up on our screens. Ruben, Clay? They’re over and done, who’s next? However, you watch the more critically acclaimed shows and they’re the worst sinners of all. How many versions of the same thing are there? We’re up to, what, 10 Law & Orders and 8 CSIs? How many sitcoms about dysfunctional family situations are there out there? Can you really tell the difference?

Our modern society is rapidly becoming the equivalent of a cultural garage sale. Shows casting a sly, sarcastic eye at the shows and personalities of the 80s and 90s are phenomenally popular. Movie adaptations of 70s TV shows abound – S.W.A.T., Charlie’s Angels, Starsky & Hutch (do we really need to relive that?). In 10 years, what are we going to look back on? Retrospectives of retrospectives?

Our cultural frame of reference is postcard sized. And that’s why we’re so quick to proclaim our current crop of cultural icons as the greatest. The problem is that the situation will not get better until we start looking at the bigger picture.

As long as we’re proclaiming every half-decent accomplishment as the Second Coming, then there’s no impetus to strive to new levels. However, when we start holding our cultural icons to a higher standard, then we will truly be able to hold our collective heads up high. There will no longer be a need to diminish the past, but rather we will be able to proudly stand side by side with them as equals.

The more we toss around the word dynasty, the cheaper it becomes. Let’s save the word for those that truly deserve it.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Time to Put Figure Skating Competitions on Ice

1 Reply

By Jason Menard

The first item on the agenda for the International Skating Union’s congress in June will be looking at implementing a new scoring system for figure skating, ice dancing, and synchronized skating.

You’ll forgive me if I don’t do a triple Salchow in excitement upon hearing this news.

It amazes me that people get up in arms about the travesties of figure skating judgements and marking. Any system that one puts in place to judge these types of competitions are doomed from the start for one simple reason:

Figure skating is not a sport.

Now before you angrily dismiss me altogether, hear me out. And you may want to gather your friends in the synchronized swimming, competitive diving, and gymnastics fields for moral support, because all of these alleged sports fall under the same category.

We’ll start with this basic statement: having a competition does not a sport make. A true sport should consist of two or more opponents or teams competing against each other with an established set of rules, a clear goal to attain, and defined terms of victory.

A true sport rewards the fastest, or the one who scores the most goals, or the person that lifts the most weight. It’s a clearly defined finish. That’s where figure skating, diving, and other sports of this nature fail the test. In these sports, you don’t win based what you have done, but rather what a set of observers believe you have done. It’s that inclusion of subjectivity that removes these type of events from the world of sport.

And this shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing. While I may dismiss the notion of these endeavours as sport, I don’t dismiss the athleticism, dedication, and hard work that goes into becoming an elite skater, diver, or gymnast. These athletes possess a grace, beauty, and level of physical achievement that many athletes in established sports could only dream of attaining.

That’s what we should appreciate them for. Skating doesn’t need justification as a sport — it should be appreciated for the art form it is. You don’t see ballet enthusiasts sitting around debating who performed the better plier, Mikhail Baryshnikov or Karen Cain? It’s all subjective, and that subjectivity precludes it from becoming a sport.

My intention in making this statement is not to diminish figure skating, diving, gymnastics, etc. by removing their designation as sports, but rather to elevate them to the art forms that they are. Ballet, dancing, painting, sculpture are all valid and appreciated forms of expression in our society, and there’s no reason why people will not go and watch them in that context.

But do they come watch them now? What’s most amusing, in my mind, is that people only truly get interested in these “sports” when the Olympics come about. People tune into the CBC and live and die with the fortunes of these athletes, celebrating their victories, and lamenting their losses. After each competition, the familiar refrain of how we don’t allocate enough resources to become competitive is voiced.

The concept of national pride is often floated as a rationale for the upswing of interest around the Olympics, but we only display national pride when there’s a medal around someone’s neck. We become enraptured with gold medallists in competitions we’ve previously never cared about, but then promptly go on to forget about them. We complain when we don’t win enough gold medals, but we forget to take pride in our athletes competing at this elite level. A seventh-place finish is not something to be lamented during the Olympics, but our nation of instant fans look at is as failure.

Where are these so-called fans during the intervening three years? These elite athletes often ply their trade in front of empty houses or before a select few die-hard enthusiasts. So that’s why this outpouring of support every four years rings so hollow.

Admittedly, figure skating is a different beast in this respect. Touring companies are largely successful. In addition, competitions are well attended for the most part, but what people seem to enjoy most are the final performances by the winners. Under no pressure of competition, the skaters are able to do what they do best – entertain through sheer artistry.

It’s time to appreciate these athletes for what they truly are – artists.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved