Category Archives: Lifestyle (MC Archive)

Lifestyle-related columns that appeared on Jason Menard’s previous Web site, Menard Communications.

I [Now] Love a Kid in Uniform

Leave a reply

By Jason Menard

If the 17-year-old version of me knew what I was about to write, he’d probably give me a good slap upside the head, but here it goes:

I think school uniforms are a great idea.

Whew, no blows from the past yet – although I’m sure my nine-year-old son won’t be too pleased either when he reads this article. I’d like to think that my 180-degree turn has less to do with the mellowing of age, than it does with a broader sense of perspective and an understanding of what’s truly important. And I’m sure my idealist friends from the time would tend to agree with me now.

As you know, children at London’s newest elementary school, St. Catherine of Siena, will be required to wear uniforms. While past versions of me would have railed on at length about the thought of indoctrinating our youth to a mandated norm established by an authoritarian body, my present version thinks, “Hmm, I hope they’ll do that at my son’s school?”

I’d like to toss finances aside, although that’s an appealing argument for many families. Yes, it’s true that buying a few uniforms is cheaper than trying to keep up with the outrageously expensive fashions of the times, that’s not the issue that the kids care about – at least that’s not what we cared about in my youth.

What was at stake was the concept of individuality and freedom of expression. Many of you out there probably think the same way that I did, in that the buttoned-up collars and pleated slacks of a school uniform would somehow do more than choke your neck, but would also stifle your ability to make your mark and stand out from the crowd. The thought exists that by everyone dressing the same, you’re creating a society of submissive drones, cloned to mimic one another without any concept of dissention or individual thought.

First off, I now have two problems with that. To start, I remember what I wore in high school and the only statement I was making was that I had no taste! But secondly, and more importantly, is that if everyone dons a school uniform then, finally, it’s the individual characteristics that will make you stand out!

A lack of uniforms, in fact, works counterproductively to fostering creativity. It allows people to use their clothing as a crutch to display superficial differences, but does nothing to allow the true nature of us to come forth.

I find it hilarious to see these kids tearing their jeans, throwing on a retro-Sex Pistols shirt, spiking their hair, and piercing their assorted body parts in an attempt to assert their individuality. What they’re completely oblivious to is the fact that they’re simply trading one set of conventions for another and just conforming to another group’s ideals. The same can be said for any one of those subsections of youth society – from those who look like angstful middle-class rappers, skater-kid wannabes, and retro-preppies – each style of dress is nothing more than conforming to another societal norm.

That’s what’s great – and overlooked – about uniforms. They make you work to stand out from the crowd. You have to use your mind, your talent, and your creativity to assert your uniqueness, not just look for a specific brand label of clothing.

Our society is rapidly becoming more and more multi-cultural, and we’re being exposed to more influences that are broadening our frame of reference. It’s long since time to appreciate those around us for who they are and not what they wear. If everyone starts from a level playing field, then all will be able to shine – not this those who wear the right clothes or look the right way.

Despite the old adage, clothes don’t make the man. And if you’re so devoid of depth that you need a label to define yourself, then remember that you’re only in school for a few hours each day – you can always change when you get home.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Be Mine, But For One Day Only?

Leave a reply

By Jason Menard

So legend has it that Valentine, the patron saint of love, was put to death following an imprisonment – seems like the appropriate holiday for us married types, right? Rimshot! I’ll be here all week, please tip your server on the way out.

But, in all seriousness, what does this holiday really mean? What brought this to the fore was a conversation I had with my wife a couple of weeks ago. When I asked her if she had anything in particular she wanted to do to celebrate, she replied, ‘Whatever, I don’t really care. It’s just a fake holiday perpetuated by Hallmark to make money.’

Obviously I was taken aback! Was this not the echoing of similar sentiments that I’ve been expressing for years? Hearing it come back to me in this way, though, gave me pause to wonder if I’ve had the whole thing wrong all this time and I haven’t been focussing on the right thing.

First off, I don’t want you to think I’m a horrible husband because of my issues with Valentine’s Day. I have always taken my wife out on Valentine’s Day and we’ve had many wonderful times together. But I, like many of you out there reading this, have railed endlessly against the crass commercialization of Valentine’s Day.

What bothers me is that Valentine’s Day too often is looked at as a panacea to absolve us of our romantic sins! We’re bombarded with this message: Show her that you love her (on this day!) by buying her flowers, jewellery, candy… It’s too much pressure for just one day. The underlying message is that you’ve been a selfish boor all year, make up for now with a gift! So think about that guys, what does that say about you if you don’t do something special for Valentine’s Day? The pressure!

My issue with this thought – and why I’ve looked at Valentine’s Day with a mix of dread and contempt – is that I don’t believe that there’s only one day that I should make my wife feel special – every day should be like that! Now, I’m not the model husband by any stretch of the imagination, but I try to do my best – the whole year! My efforts have been met with varying degrees of success, but I honestly believe I’m doing my best to show my wife how much I truly care for her. But still, I know the overwhelming guilt I would feel if I didn’t do anything on Valentine’s Day – and that’s not right.

And now we’re starting even younger. The pressure to conform and perform is starting in our elementary schools – albeit only with the best intentions in mind. Although we all know about where the path of good intentions leads.

In my son’s fourth-grade class they’ve been told to either bring enough Valentine’s for everyone or bring none at all. Talk about preparing them for disappointment down the road.

When I was younger it was almost a survival of the fittest. You chose to whom you gave Valentine’s and they actually meant something. Some years you got more, some years you got less, but at least they were genuine. The idea now is that everyone feels included, but what it actually does is give false hope to a number of kids.

Valentine’s cards were a microcosm of society as a whole. In fact, they were a great training ground to help deal with the harsh realities of life. The fact is that the majority of people in the world don’t care about you and some outright dislike you. But if you’re lucky enough to find someone who truly cares about you and wants to be your Valentine, then you’ve received the greatest gift of all. That’s a Valentine to cherish every day of your life – not just on February 14 th.

Like many things in life, my thoughts on Valentine’s Day are not so black and white any more – they’re more a shade of grey (or red as the case may be). It’s not the day itself that I have an issue with – it’s how we focus on this day, and this day alone, to show how much we care. So while I’ll go along with the crowd on Saturday night, I’ll know in my heart that this is just one day of many in the years to come where I should show my wife how special she is to me!

Valentine’s Day should be no more special than any other day. But instead of devaluing the meaning of February 14 th, we should be raising the bar on every other day of the year. I know it’s the least I can do for my one true Valentine.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Trick or Treat?

Leave a reply

By Jason Menard

My children are going trick-or-treating this year – apparently I should ask all of you to pray for their mortal souls. It’s happening more and more these days. In our misplaced desire to be non-offensive, we’re sucking the fun out of being a kid.

My son, who attends a local public school, is not allowed to dress up in costume this year, apparently because in doing so he would offend those who believe that dressing up for Halloween is a direct ticket to whichever version of hell they believe in.

Oddly enough, I don’t remember one of Dante’s rings including a section for sugar-crazed youth, but I digress.

My wife, who teaches at an area youth centre, is severely restricted as to what Halloween-themed activities she can introduce. No goblins, ghosts, witches, nothing that may be even construed as controversial. My two-year-old daughter will be dressing up as an elephant Oct. 31, 2003 – what kind of father am I?

Let me start by saying that my wife and I have fundamentally different views on religion and Christianity – in short, she believes, I don’t. But we both agree on one thing – this is ridiculous.

I had countless Halloween parties during my school years. Amazingly I’ve never felt the urge to hurt anybody or make ritual sacrifices. In fact, I try to lead a pretty good life, help others where I can, and teach my kids to respect others and appreciate everyone’s differences. And, other than a tendency to throw mushrooms in everything she cooks, my more religious wife — who also been known to trick-or-treat – displays no evil tendencies.

In fact, all I – and my Buddhist, Muslim, Catholic, Jewish and Atheist friends – remember of that time was that we got to dress up, pretend we were our favourite superheroes, and get an obscene amount of candy!

So where’s the harm?

We’ve swung the pendulum way to far. In our goal to be all-inclusive, we’ve done the exact opposite. I may not agree with my wife on religion, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want my kids to go through life with blinders on and not learn about it.

I want my kids to learn about all the world’s belief systems so that they can make their own minds up and make decisions based on what will make them happy. If they believe in a god – any god – then good for them. If they choose to not believe, as long as it makes them happy, I say go for it.

What we need to do – and at an early age, I may add – is to expose our children to more religion, not less as we’ve been doing. If a child is observing Yom Kippur, why not have them or their parents discuss the meaning of the day? If a teacher is fasting during Ramadan, let them explain what they’re doing and why.

We’re not indoctrinating our children or trying to convert them – what we’re doing is teaching them the precious lesson of tolerance.

The fact is that we live in an increasingly smaller world where we’re being exposed to a wide variety of cultures, religions, and belief systems on a more regular basis. Instead of insulating our children from the ebb and flow of the world, we should be encouraging them to learn from and appreciate people for who they are.

For a secular society, we’re still heavily influenced by religion. If people start playing the game of claiming offence for innocuous events like Halloween – which really has no religious connotation for any child I know – then what are we to say about enforced statutory holidays based on one religion?

Maybe if Halloween goes, then Christmas and Easter break should be scrapped as we’re not granting equal weight to everyone’s belief system. Or maybe, just maybe, we should all relax, teach our children well, and hope that they grow up to be well-rounded, compassionate, and understanding adults to whom the god you pray to means less than the person you are.

The irony of all this? My son chose to dress as a devil this year. Happy Halloween to all!

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

Volun-told Policy Short-Sighted

1 Reply

By Jason Menard

Does anyone else find it somewhat curious that the very institutions that have been charged with educating our youth are the same ones that seem to need a refresher course on what the term volunteer actually means?

Forcing our high school students to perform a requisite number of volunteer hours as a compulsory component of graduation is just wrong and sends a terrible message to our society’s youth.

By very nature, compelling students to partake of this program in order to graduate goes against the very concept of volunteerism, and it stands as an insult to the intellect of our society’s youth to use euphemisms like volunteer, when compulsory societal assistance is the true name of the game.

And, in the long run, what we’re going to do is drive many of these students away from ever volunteering again.

The things I have become passionate about in my adult life are things that I drifted into on my own volition. In large part, the things I was forced to do were the things towards which I developed the most resistance – and I don’t think I was an atypical teenager.

Admittedly, when I was in high school, I was not the most socially conscious member of my graduating class. However, as the years go by and I learn more about the world around me, I’ve come to include volunteering in my life. I consider myself and enthusiastic and hard-working volunteer when I choose to commit my time to a cause.

But it’s always my choice – no adult would expect any less, but then we don’t extend the same courtesy to our children.

My participation has brought me in contact with our conscripted volunteer staff of high school students. Needless to say, my experiences have been mixed. I’ve run into kids who are more interested in socializing with each other and show no desire in actually being where they are. For them it’s a matter of doing their time – much like a prison sentence – until they’re allowed to go.

Then there’s the other group who actually takes an interest in what they’re doing and display a passion and work ethic, which shows that they are participating for the right reason. The kicker is that these are the kids who would be volunteering anyway. I’m not so naïve to think that volunteers aren’t needed in our society, but what we need are more of the latter and less of the former.

The school board desperately needs to get more creative in their attempts to encourage volunteerism. Let’s encourage behaviours and work ethics that will actually serve them later in life. Instead of making volunteer participation compulsory, let’s investigate ways to offer it as an extra-credit opportunity. Working with teachers, allow kids time away from class on occasion to help worthy causes and learn more about the world around them.

For the people who will complain that offering extra credit is unfair, look at the work force. If you want to impress your boss, you go above and beyond the call of duty. You put in the extra time – so why not promote and reward this work ethic at a young age?

Kids are under a tremendous amount of pressure. Between the demands of school, social pressures, and – for many – part-time jobs, we need to be understanding of their needs as well and not paint them all with the same brush.

There are a number of kids out there who would love to donate their time and energy to volunteer programs. But there are ways to channel their energies to these worthwhile cause other than through administrative force.

Think back to the things you remember from your own youth. Chances are your best memories are of your friends, sporting accomplishments, or experiences gained through participation in clubs. But the key in all of this is that these are all activities you chose to do.

Our high school-aged children are on the cusp of being adults. Part of their development during this time is to learn how to make their own choices and to do the right thing. So let’s trust our children and treat them as the adults we want them to be.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved

What You Can See in the Dark

Leave a reply

By Jason Menard

It is at times such as Thursday night’s blackout that the best and worst of human nature is revealed. And it’s doubly important that once life gets back to normal, that same human nature is rewarded appropriately.

I was one of the lucky ones who lived through the Quebec Ice Storm with minimal interruption to my life. Living in Montreal at the time, our house was in one of the few sectors that did not lose power. As my downtown office was without any power for the better part of the week, I was able to stay at home and watch the situation unfold.

Like most of you would do, we opened our homes to friends who were less fortunate, eventually fitting five adults, one child, a handful of irritating birds, fish, a chinchilla, and a massive dog into a modest two-bedroom apartment.

We watched the surreal images of the city around us unfold on the television, so far removed from our own reality. We kept in contact with family members – some of whom did not regain power for a month. And we watched with disgust the actions of a select few.

At a time when people are supposed to come together and lend a hand to those in need, we saw stores raising the price of everyday products. Batteries were sold at $5 each, prices for staples like milk and toilet paper went through the roof, and bottled water was sold at a premium. At a time when countless thousands of people from across Canada were feverishly working to send generators and other supplies to Quebec, the people of our own province were gouging those in the most need.

So we turn to London and its surrounding area. From the darkness that enveloped our region emerged the true nature of many of its inhabitants. While the majority of people did go out of their way to lend a hand, there were a select few who chose to take this opportunity to turn a profit at the expense of others.

Watching the local news we were treated to a regional gas station owner – who shall remain nameless at this time, but really shouldn’t be offered that courtesy — who gleefully explained that he was able to raise his prices up to almost 86 cents a litre, due to the need of running a generator, employing extra staff, and making a little extra profit.

Now, I appreciate the supply and demand nature of our capitalist society, and I don’t begrudge people making money where circumstances warrant. But one of the few things that separates us from machines is compassion – the ability to put aside our natural instinct to do more, make more, earn more in the hopes of helping our fellow citizens during extreme situations.

Reports from across the affected area came in with similar stories of price gouging. It is at this point where it becomes our responsibility to ensure that the economic karma is returned in full force.

One of the interesting things that came out of the Ice Storm was the fact that all those establishments that had engaged in price gouging were eventually held up for public scrutiny. Their names, after the price-fixing had been validated, were published in various local newspapers. Through word of mouth, those who had profited most from the despair of others during the Ice Storm, lost the most after the crisis had past.

I’m not saying we, as a community, need to engage in an economic witch hunt, storming the doors of unscrupulous businesses like a vigilante mob. But rather, we should take this opportunity to reflect upon our spending patterns. Look around and see who had the option to gouge you – and didn’t. Talk to friends and acquaintances and see which businesses went out of their way to actively help those in need during the blackout.

Then it comes the time for economic karma to kick in. Patronize those establishments. Let them know that the reason you’re shopping there is in appreciation of their efforts during the blackout. Let them know that you’re grateful for the fact that there were there in the bad times, and that you’ll be there for them in the good times.

Voice your disapproval to those who looked to make a fast buck at the expense of others. Explain that you’re not patronizing their establishment because of their lack of human kindness. Maybe then they’ll understand that the lure of easy money off the backs of those in need is not worth the long-term ill will it creates.

In a society where the price often determines our loyalty, perhaps its long past due that service and value are at a premium. Maybe out of the blackness of this outage, nice guys don’t have to finish last.

2005 © Menard Communications – Jason Menard All Rights Reserved